My contract with Covers Housing won't be extended. After this 6 month contract they're letting me go. There's a reorganization coming up and after that they want to see what happens without being committed for 6 or more months to me. And here I was, thinking that everything was going quite well...

I had a talk about this news (which was brought to me by a phone call on Monday, a day that I am not at work) on Wednesday and in that conversation I mentioned that I thought things were going well and that I was unpleasantly surprised by the news. And then all of a sudden I got comments on how I was functioning and what I was doing wrong. Somewhere in the first month of work I had told my boss that I would want to hear it immediately if I was doing something not to his satisfaction. And I did get some comments now and again. But the things he told me on Wednesday were completely new to me. They were about how I communicate, mainly. Structural things that would take a conscious effort for me to change. And I am willing to change it, but I can not do so if I am not aware of me being at fault somehow.

So now I have 3 weeks left (had to take my 7,5 vacation days this last month) to try to improve on the issues that were mentioned. I am planning on asking my other main colleague if he has some issues with me as well, so I can try to work on those too. And I have my own list of things that can be improved in this company. However, from the talk last Wednesday I have the impression that some things will never change.

On the one hand I have already accepted that I am being 'let go'. On the other hand I really hate the fact that I have to go looking for a job again. Yes, I do get an allowance since I did not quit of my own accord this time. But that pay won't be much and I do have a mortgage to pay. Some part of me is saying "screw them all, I'll do it on my own" and to really get going with my own business which has been severely neglected up till now. I'm still working on the marriage costume, but my website still isn't finished. Mostly due to work and hospital visits. That will be the good note to end this blogpost on: my back is improving with 2 shots in one of my nerves; much less pain and probably no need for surgery.