Last weekend was the weekend of BoneBreaker's Bar number 10, called 'Aan alles komt een einde' ('Everything comes to an end'). Quite a worrying name, but exciting as well.
I played a hell demon there, Raya. She was 7 years old on BBB9 but went on a little trip to hell (home) and came back as a 13 year old on BBB10. I had made a new costume consisting of a 'sexy' short dress, a coat, red panties for skin and more red paint on my face. Everything in black and red. I got a lot of compliments. :-)

Unfortunately half of my weekend was reasonably good to good, but the other half just sucked. I'll tell you why.

On Friday evening I went In Character and appeared in mage guild Legacy. Some people were surprised about my changed appearance, others didn't give a damn. :-p
Somewhere that evening/night there was some kind of emergency (can't quite remember) and Raya wanted to help the Legacy mages in making a wedge, but Baranopsis Drax, head of Legacy, didn't want that. So Raya, as an adolescent, went to the bar to sulk. It was there that she was found by two anti-demon-and-undead fanatics. So she got killed. Struck in the back with a spirit-blessed sword. Take 4 points damage please.
So I lay there, just outside the light of the bar. Nobody missed me, nobody saw me (except for a dwarf who thought I was drunk) and so I died.

With being a demon comes the 'delight' of resurrection and since my slayers hadn't taken any precautions I went to the game leaders and asked what to do. Bas told me that Raya would have to convince the Sinner and Death itself to let her have another chance at life.
It took some time before all people were assembled and in that time I got worried. Raya hadn't done much evil yet, being only 13 years old and all. So what could she tell to convince the higher powers? Would this be the end of her already?
When the meeting was arranged I had a stomach ache and adrenalin rushing through me. The talk went bad. The Sinner accused me of being too soft and mocked me with my single kill. I accused my 'father', Corvax, of making me weak. Bad idea. I was released with the order to kill Corvax. I accepted.
In Character as well as Out of Character I felt sick. How could I do this? OC I was worried about Dennis, and I didn't want to commit a playerkill. IC Raya was having an internal conflict. Her 'dad' had taken care of her, she still needed him to protect her in this hostile world and she couldn't kill him because all she could do was firedamage and he was immune to fire. She didn't even have a dagger.
With the resurrection one also looses powers (50 characterpoints, which is a lot). Weak little me.

Raya appeared again in Safe Haven, frightened as hell because her killers were still out there. She found Corvax in the Priest guild and called him outside. She cried on his shoulder, out of fear, out of despair, silently wishing she had a dagger so she could fulfill her task and please the Sinner.
When Corvax heard what happened, he went to one of the priests and told him that 'his people' had done something to Raya. The priest would have a talk with them. Meanwhile Raya would hide in Legacy since the temple, priest guild or bar were no options.
After sitting in Legacy some time, afraid, the door opened and one of the killers stood there. Raya fled to the private rooms and hid. Corvax went outside to see if Raya had fled through the back door and was killed later that evening, without a sound. Just on the doorstep of Legacy. He bled to death before he was found.
That solved the problem for Raya, but it also meant that there was nobody left to protect her, since the Legacy mages were somewhat indifferent towards her. Fortunately Corvax had been a member and since one of the Legacy rules is 'we take care of our own' the female killer was hunted down and murdered.

On Saturday Raya decided to do the initiation with Legacy so she would become a member and receive protection. She felt weaker than normal but forced herself to join the others, knowing there was a risk of dying.
And she did. Die, again. This time she just wasn't fast enough and got killed from behind (again) by one of the mages. Afterwards I cursed myself for not playing her right. She should have gone on without the others, not trying to help them. F*ck the 'we take care of our own'. I should have remembered the rule 'loss is acceptable, failure is not'. And I should have played more evil. Let them all die, as long as I live. But I didn't. So I was killed again. And again from the back.
The worst part is that I heard one person say 'Raya will come back when she dies. So you don't have to heal her.' F*ck it, like it was that easy! I could have lived if the healer would have just continued. But she was called away by Drax and went back to the village.

Since the first talk with the Sinner and Death didn't go to well and Raya hadn't been the one to kill her father and thus keep her promise, she decided to give up and ask for mercy.
She told Death that she didn't think that going back to Hell or Earth would do anyone any good because she was just worthless and weak. So Death sent her to some Heavenly place, after promising Raya she would tell Drax that Raya wished him dead. (Something Drax probably couldn't care less about, but still..)

The end of my character. Time of death: Saturday June 3rd, 2006, 15.30.
And that is when the bad part started.
I was really sad about the death of my character. Yes, it is a game, yes it is just a character. But still, I wasn't ready to loose her yet. And certainly not twice in such an awful way. I had hoped on a cool exorcism or something, with all the demonslayers and priests walking around. I could have lived with a heroic or cool ending. Instead I was killed from behind, twice.

I went to the monster tent to become a non player character, but everything there was slow. I was bored, had to wait way too long for a role. I was depressed because of Raya's death and looked at the other players with envy. I wanted to be amongst them, play with them. Not sit in the monster tent, doing nothing and feeling bad.
I have played 4 roles since Saturday afternoon. One farmer wife on the wedding of two of the players. One sinner-to-be-reformed for a very long and slow ritual. A half-shadow demon thing that offered her services to one of the players (turned demon). And then, Sunday afternoon, a weak little demon for the final ending.

BBB10 went out with a bang. The Sinner guided a pregnant woman to the temple where she gave birth to The One. Safe Haven and all life was destroyed while a tiny speck of light pushed away the darkness. Time out.

In the endspeech the game leaders told everybody that their characters were dead. All of them, except the few that had gone through the portal. Safe Haven was no more. BBB was no more. The setting had been coming to its end for some time with the plot writers running out of possibilites and inspiration. So this was the final end. The threat of the apocalypse had come true. A new event would be started, but this had been the last BBB.

A lot of people were angry, sad, disappointed, hurt. Many had loved their characters, put a lot of time in them and had plans for more events. But it had all ended, just like that.
For me it didn't come as a surprise. And actually the pain for the loss of my character was relieved a little. Because now I wasn't the only one that was going to miss her character.
I just wished I could have died like the rest. Instead of Saturday afternoon with a lot of boredom after that.