Welcome to my home-cooked journal.
Here you will find my rants about every day life and things that keep me busy.
In the past I have frequently written, but there's no saying if I'll continue on that path. It all depends on how busy I am.
Have fun reading my scribbles.
No surgery, but disaster strikes nevertheless!
Oh drama! :-p
Well, as the title states I have decided not to have surgery on my hernia. The reason is that I was afraid of the treatment and the long looooong period of revalidation. Besides that the pain was manageable. There's some pain in my hip every now and again and on bad days also on the outside of my right calf but is not as bad as I thought it would be without the medicines. And I can surely say that I have kicked off of those meds now, so this is all the pain that there is left.
Then how did disaster strike? Well, because I had expected our vocal coach to be wearing my outfit for the extra performance on the first of July I laundered it (by hand). Yesterday I noticed some 'water stains' and decided to wash and thouroughly rinse it all again. But, the horror, the stains only got worse and some of the blue dissolved and left silver behind! So now my top is ruined! Fortunately I did not wash the pants because there was less armpit sweat and make-up involved there. So that one is still good.
I do have some blue spandex left. Probably enough (even with the stretch in the right direction) to replace the entire body. However, that will be a hell of a job that I'd rather not start on. Unfortunately a little voice is screaming in my head that I could never wear this again anyway, so just fix it and be done with it...
Mamma Mia the musical - what fun!
Last weekend Amersical performed "Mamma Mia, the musical" in a theater in Amersfoort. It was great, despite some health issues of several people, including myself. I caught a cold on Wednesday and over the weekend slowly lost my voice. Crappy timing!! So on Saturday afternoon things were still quite well, on Saturday evening I could not do my long note in one of my solos and on Sunday I even had to playback some songs! So frustrating! Fortunately my singing coach offered some advice and the rest of the group sang along with me so that my sound feed could be turned off or louder depending on what my voice did.
I had some trouble with my hernia on Saturday but on Sunday it was much better, however I overburdened my right ankle with the heels I was wearing (saw the doctor today for that). But the show had to go on, and it did. :-)
The audience for the matinee performances was (as always) a bit timid, but the Saturday evening was (as always) great. We even got applauded for just walking onto the stage in our glitter outfits! We got lots of compliments. I even got compliments via other players from 'their' audience! There was quite some stress in changing costumes and physical discomforts, but it is always such a rush to perform together.
Of course we ended the weekend with pancakes in De Kabouterhut as is tradition. But this was not the final act. We will perform in a retirement home next week on Monday and we were even asked to come perform at an Abba-party on the first of July. How cool is that?! (Less cool is that the 1st of July would be the day that I undergo surgery for my hernia.... so let's really hope that it is not necessary!)
Mamma Mia Musical
Did you know that here in the Netherlands we have a law that forces an employer to keep paying the wages when a sick employee is long since fired or has left? And that this not only is the case when the employee gets sick during the contract period, but also when the employee was sick already before the contract even started?
Did you know that with my hernia I am officially 'sick' (and still insecure about whether surgery is needed or not*) and that I did in theory get hired somewhere, except that I told about my hernia?
You do the math about the situation I am currently in...
*Need a new MRI scan on the 4th of May (earliest possibility) and then need to wait until the 25th for the results (again, earliest possibility). Screw this!
My contract with Covers Housing won't be extended. After this 6 month contract they're letting me go. There's a reorganization coming up and after that they want to see what happens without being committed for 6 or more months to me. And here I was, thinking that everything was going quite well...
I had a talk about this news (which was brought to me by a phone call on Monday, a day that I am not at work) on Wednesday and in that conversation I mentioned that I thought things were going well and that I was unpleasantly surprised by the news. And then all of a sudden I got comments on how I was functioning and what I was doing wrong. Somewhere in the first month of work I had told my boss that I would want to hear it immediately if I was doing something not to his satisfaction. And I did get some comments now and again. But the things he told me on Wednesday were completely new to me. They were about how I communicate, mainly. Structural things that would take a conscious effort for me to change. And I am willing to change it, but I can not do so if I am not aware of me being at fault somehow.
So now I have 3 weeks left (had to take my 7,5 vacation days this last month) to try to improve on the issues that were mentioned. I am planning on asking my other main colleague if he has some issues with me as well, so I can try to work on those too. And I have my own list of things that can be improved in this company. However, from the talk last Wednesday I have the impression that some things will never change.
On the one hand I have already accepted that I am being 'let go'. On the other hand I really hate the fact that I have to go looking for a job again. Yes, I do get an allowance since I did not quit of my own accord this time. But that pay won't be much and I do have a mortgage to pay. Some part of me is saying "screw them all, I'll do it on my own" and to really get going with my own business which has been severely neglected up till now. I'm still working on the marriage costume, but my website still isn't finished. Mostly due to work and hospital visits. That will be the good note to end this blogpost on: my back is improving with 2 shots in one of my nerves; much less pain and probably no need for surgery.