Went shopping for Christmas presents yesterday and decided to finally buy a combi-printer and an oven as well. When we were just about to return to our bikes and go home, I tried to pick up the box with the oven in it and felt the nail of my ring finger break. It hurt much more than just a normal break of the white part of a (long) nail, and upon inspection (just looking really) I found out that the nail had been torn inside the pink part ('het leven') on both sides. The tears did not meet in the middle, leaving just a small part of the nail 'intact' to have the outer part hang on.

Matthijs got me a first aid kit with some band-aids and after securing the torn part with one band-aid, I cut my nail as short as possible without fainting. I did nearly go K.O. however and Matthijs ran into a nearby shop, which luckily had a water cooler, and brought me some water to drink. While Matthijs went to fetch our bikes, I just sat an focussed on breathing, while lots of people passed me by and looked at me with worry in their eyes. Next to that the passers-by looked into the store window I was sitting next to, and their curiosity was explained later when we saw two paramedics enter the store. We never learned what happened, but it must have been way more serious than my nail.

The other hurt is a psychical one, though many people would say that I should not be theatrical. I invited some 9 people for New Year's Eve, and only my brother will come. Two people have said 'maybe', but I mailed them that it's cancelled. The rest of the would-be guests had other obligations or plans, all perfectly reasonable and understandable, but I am just too disappointed to still plan a party.

It's probably too late already to invite other people. Most people will have their own plans by this time. And it took some effort already to compose this guest-list. Since my brother was the first to react, and with a positive reaction at that, I'm staying in Enschede. I guess it will just be a quite day and night with the three of us. Probably playing Munchkin.

Mood: feeling unloved and full of self-pity