I don't travel by train very often anymore, just once or twice a month to Utrecht for the EE meetings, but yesterday evening it was like the old days: train trouble. The intercity from Utrecht to Enschede got delayed by a defect packtrain and thus ended up behind the stoptrain (is that a word?) that we wanted to have. You see, to get to Enschede Drienlero, where the intercity does not stop, you need to switch at Almelo so you get a stoptrain. Normally the intercity passes Almelo at ..:15 and the stoptrain leaves at ..:19 and you can easily switch. However, because of the delay the intercity ended up behind the stoptrain in stead of in front...

Of course the intercity couldn't go as fast now because it was lingering behind a stoptrain, but did it stop at the small stations? No it didn't. Oh my, just suppose they would be helpful for a change? That can't be. So we rode until Hengelo (another transfer opportunity, in fact the last, to get to Drienerlo) and then had to wait for a place at Hengelo station until the stoptrain had left! That meant about 30 minutes waiting for the next stoptrain, if it had been a regular one, but now we had to wait about 45 minutes and that next stoptrain was delayed as well. In between there also passed another delayed intercity to Enschede. So we spent nearly an hour at Henglo while that f*cking first intercity could just as easily have let us out at Drienerlo because it was already delayed and didn't come back so it didn't even have to be on time! Gods was I pissed. Which of course doesn't help one bit...

Now I have to get myself a new set of get-your-money-back-forms to fill in.

In other news: I'm unhappy. Sounds a bit weird to state it like that, but it is true. I am not at all motivated for work, in fact I'm looking forward to the lunch break and the free days that I've planned and I do not get satisfaction from my work anymore. Some people might say that it is so because I work at home, alone. No colleagues around, but in fact when I am at the office in Amsterdam I feel misplaced and that I really do not fit in, which doesn't make me happier. So it's not that. It's neither that my work isn't challenging. You try to develop websites that work and look good on 4 separate browser/OS combinations (XP: FF, IE6 and IE7 and Vista IE7) and you'll find that it isn't easy. Challenge enough.

I just get so tired of all the wishes and demands and the feeling that nothing is ever good enough. I like to please and I like to finish things and I get the idea that at the moment that is just not really in it. When one thing is(n't even halway) finished another thing comes up and needs to be fixed. Yes, of course, websites are dynamic and are in need of constant upgrading and such. Still, it would be very nice to be able to say "Look, here it is. Isn't it beautiful and useful? Now it is finished".

Next to that I'm tired of hanging behind my computer. Especially with the sunshine outside and my new stash of fabrics and larp ideas I want to 'go out' and do things! Craft things, explore the spring outside but not sit behind my computer all day.

This week I have been thinking about starting a new study, something like theater design (making decors, costumes etc.) or so. However, I'll need to let it sink in to see if this is serious. Doing something with my hands and head does sound very appealing but starting a whole new study again might be a bit much.

Anybody out there with a non-ICT work suggestion? Doesn't have to be a vacancy, just a 'you could consider....' suggestion would be nice.