Last weekend we had a birthday in Utrecht but there was work on the train tracks between here and there, so we decided to avoid the trouble and have a sleep over in Harderwijk at Matthijs' mother's place. While in the neighbourhood we also visited Matthijs' father and my father.

My dad had disturbing news for me. My grandmother has been hospitalized some time ago for a week for pulmonary embolism. She has trouble breathing and tires very rapidly for lack of oxygen. Nobody knows what caused it and thus how to 'fix' it. My grandmother is 80-something but up till now she was in quite good health for her age. This news frightened me. My dad is worried that it won't last long, in the bad way...

Because of her illness my grandmother has not been able to visit my demented grandfather and he has 'slipped' further. He is now past the stage where he is aware of his disease. This makes him less grumpy and tearful but also less aware of his environment and normal social standards. He can now just forget about visitors and go to sleep simply because he was walking past his bed.

My grandfather barely recognizes his own children anymore and I haven't visited him for quite a while, so I don't think he'd know who I am. This, however wrong it feels, makes me less inclined to go visit him. I do plan on visiting my grandmother. I sent her a 'get well' card and want to visit her on the 5th of March in the early afternoon. (Just before I go to the birthday of my other - much younger - grandmother.) I just really hope she'll get better.

Grandma Haeke will turn 75 this year and celebrates on the 5th of March. I am making her a portrait with an old photo as reference. On the photo there's four generations: my great-grandmother, grandmother, mother and me. The third try turned out quite good so I think I'll keep that one. Now I'll need to get a nice frame. It surprised me that I still can draw, since I haven't had much practise the last, say, 5 years.

We have never been a close family and I've been lucky to have know both pairs of grandparents. These tidings just make me more aware of both facts.